Hope for those in Intercultural Marriage

Excellent Communication Tips

Those of you in intercultural marriages know that effective communication, love and respect are crucial elements to a successful marriage partnership. Chuck Martin, our pastor at First Baptist Church of Frisco, has been preaching a fantastic series called Faith @ Home in which he gives parents excellent tips on improving their relationships with each other and with their children. This past Sunday, each of us received a copy of "The 21 Rules of This House" by Gregg Harris. These guidelines are so powerful that I wanted to share them with everyone! Here they are:

The 21 Rules of This House

1. We obey God.

2. We love, honor and pray for one another.

3. We tell the truth.

4. We consider one another's interests ahead of our own.

5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.

6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.

7. When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.  

8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.

9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.

10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.

11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.

12. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.

13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.

14. We do not create unneccesary work for others.

15. When we open something, we close it.

16. When we take something out, we put it away.

17. When we turn something on, we turn it off.

18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.

19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.

20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.

21. When we disobey or forget any of the 21 Rules of This House, we accept the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Helpful Sites for those in Intercultural, Cross-Cultural, Interracial and Interfaith Marriage

"The Link Between" is one of the best websites I've seen on the topic of intercultural marriage. Definitely check it out at thelinkbetween.wordpress.com/.

I also love the Marriage Missions website. It contains lots of fantastic articles for intercultural couples. Check out this one: marriagemissions.com/intercultural-marriages-assumptionsmy-way-the-right-way/

Also check out this intriguing site and interview: matadornetwork.com/abroad/on-blogs-of-the-world-intercultural-marriage-and-travel-writing-an-interview-with-liz-chatburn-of-pocket-cultures/

I've been contacted recently by several media folks requesting statistics, information and personal stories related to intercultural marriage. How exciting! Looks like people are catching on to the crucial need for resources on this topic. Let me know if I can be of help to you by providing articles, resources, recommendations or advice on this topic. You can also glean lots from my book, titled Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship from Moody Publishers. It's available on Amazon and at bookstores. Thanks!

Loving Your Choice...

I recently saw a quote that stopped me in my tracks. It said, "Choose your love; then love your choice."

God spoke to my heart through that quotation, reminding me that love is a choice. Isn't it sad that we fall in love and believe that our significant other is pretty much perfect in every way, and then as time passes, we tend to dwell on the things about him or her that we don't like?

I'm also impressed by the double entendre in this quote. Not only are we called to love our choice (as in the PERSON that we chose), but we are also called to love our choice (as in the fact that WE chose that person and it's up to us to live with the consequences). Every day, we must make it a point to focus on our spouse's best qualities and help him or her to become who he/she is meant to be in Christ.

Yesterday I was thinking that it would be cool to list 31 things I love about my husband, in celebration of Halloween. So here goes:

1) I know he loves me.

2) He buys me roses.

3) He loves the Lord.

4) He's very intelligent.

5) He is well spoken and gifted with languages.

6) He has adapted extremely well to life in America.

7) He understands my near-addiction to McDonald's Coke. :)

8) He is a fantastic dad.

9) He is not a violent person (both of us have been impacted by domestic violence, so this means a lot to me).

10) He loves good food.

11) He is amazing to travel with and can decode any type of map.

12) He works very hard at his job and is dependable.

13) He likes to spend lots of time with his family.

14) He is a good friend.

15) He is sensitive and caring.

16) He loves music.

17) He likes to exercise (sometimes, anyway!)

18) He loves to read and discuss books with me.

19) He's hot (why did I not mention that before?????)

20) He can carry on an interesting and intelligent conversation on any topic - so useful at parties.

21) He doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or anything like that.

22) He cares about my safety and that of the children.

23) He does tons of research before buying anything to be sure we get the best value.

24) He is tall, dark and handsome.

25) He enjoys going to church and connecting with friends.

26) He makes sacrifices for me and the kids.

27) He left his home country and family in order to marry me and move to the States!

28) He is a true international, a citizen of the world.

29) He is very devoted to our marriage.

30) He has a gentle spirit.

31) He has compassion for people and roots for the underdog. That will be helpful when the Rangers play the Giants tonight!

Being Jesus to Other People

Dr. Kevin Leman, the author of several bestselling Christian books, shares this story: "A mother caught her two boys arguing over who would get the first pancake. The mother thought she had a golden opportunity to provide a moral lesson, so she said, 'If Jesus were sitting here, he would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.' The older son turned to his brother and said, 'Okay, Ryan, you be Jesus.'"

I love this story! Not only is it hilarious, but it reveals an integral aspect of human nature: selfishness. Wanting the best for ourselves may be funny when we're kids, but we have to learn to overcome this type of selfishness in order to truly love and serve other people. A me-first attitude is what we must battle daily in order to be Jesus to other people.

In marriage, in ministry, in my family relationships, and in my friendships, I sometimes wait around for the other person to do the right thing (or apologize, or take the first step in mending a relationship). In essence, I am waiting for them to be Jesus to me instead of taking the high road and deciding to be like Jesus myself - WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN.

I find this particularly difficult in marriage and with those people that we love most. Ever noticed how sometimes, the people that we really do love the MOST are not those we love the BEST? Sometimes they get our crumbs instead of the best that we have to offer. Jesus always gave His best and offered His full attention to even the lowliest of people in His culture. Very convicting!

I think that our heavenly Father is prompting all of us to try to "be Jesus" to those in our sphere of influence. How is He leading you to be like Jesus today? Please post a comment and share your thoughts! Thanks!

FamilyLife Interview on Intercultural Marriage

In November, I had the privilege of traveling to Little Rock to be interviewed by Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine on the topic of intercultural marriage and my book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship. I shared some juicy tidbits about the intriguing twists and turns of our romance and marriage journey, as well as practical tips and helpful marriage advice for couples. Here's a link to the video feed if you'd like to watch it! familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.5834071/k.14B6/Marla_Alupoaicei__Intercultural_Marriages.htm Blessings.

Women Living Well

Today, I'd love to recommmend that you visit the website Women Living Well at womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/. I'm inspired by Courtney's energy as she invests her heart and her time into caring for her family and herself. She is one of the few people I've seen who really considers homemaking and caring for her family to be a high calling and an art. It's refreshing to read about her passion and her commitment to God and to her family.

On Courtney's site, you can watch lots of video clips from her appearances on TV shows like Rachael Ray in which she presents her meal tips, health strategies, and marriage advice. She also presents tons of other helpful articles and quick, fun ideas, including:

-Menus and recipes that both adults and kids will like

-Easy, inexpensive gifts to make for teachers

-Devotional prompts for moms

-Great organizing and cleaning tips

And more! Courtney says that her favorite Scripture verse is Galatians 6:9, "Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap a harvest if you do not give up." Check out her site; I think you'll be inspired by her. For me as a writer with a 10-month old son and another baby on the way in September, I always enjoy a bit of motivation and encouragement from someone as "with it" as Courtney!

Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire...

Is this your vision of Christmas? If you live in England, it might be, along with lighting a Yule log and gathering with your extended family to eat a traditional pudding. Or maybe you're from Australia and your family always goes to the beach on Christmas. For those in intercultural marriages, expectations and culture clashes can cause conflict around the holidays.

For example, what if you expect turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, but your wife wants to make lamb, rice and baklava? What if your husband always put the Christmas tree up on Christmas Eve, but you want to put up the tree and decorate it the day after Thanksgiving, because that's how your family always did it? What if one spouse wants the kids to believe in Santa Claus, but the other one doesn't? What if your in-laws expect you to drive 8 hours to visit them and a huge mish-mash of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles (including that person no one really seems to know...), but you were hoping for a quiet holiday at home?

Issues like these can wreak havoc in a marriage unless couples discuss their holiday expectations with each other. In my book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship, I offer an in-depth discussion of the holidays and how intercultural couples can graciously create a holiday season that is enjoyable for their families. Here are few questions to help couples sort out their values, customs, traditions and preferences with regard to celebrating the holidays:    

 

What traditional holidays do you celebrate in your culture? Which are the "biggest" or most important to you?
How did/does your family of origin celebrate these holidays? What do you like specifically about their traditions?
Which of your family's traditions would you like to incorporate into our own family? Which do you NOT want to incorporate?
Which foods do you eat on each holiday? Which traditional foods are your favorite? (For instance, my grandma's turkey dressing, my aunt Jana's cheesy mashed potatoes, and my mom's applesauce cake are out of this world!!! I eat them every Thanksgiving.)
What are your thoughts about Santa Claus/St. Nick? Do you want to tell our kids that they bring gifts on Christmas, or not? 
Did your family tend to spend a lot of money on holiday gifts? Do they expect to receive expensive gifts or money from us for the holidays? If so, what kind, and how much?
What religious or spiritual traditions do you follow on the holidays? Why are these important to you? Do you plan to keep these after marriage?
Describe a typical Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter with your family.
What values and traditions do we want to teach our children during the holidays? 
What are your expectations regarding us visiting your parents or family for the holidays? Are you open to us alternating between visiting my family and your family?

I hope these are helpful to you! If you have additional suggestions, please post a comment here! Thanks so much. Happy Thanskgiving and Merry Christmas to you!

GREAT Questions for Intercultural Couples

Here are some of the most important questions to ask before entering an intercultural marriage:

1) What are your spiritual beliefs? Do you attend church? Do you read the Bible or other religious books? How involved are you in spiritual activities?

2) What types of food and drink do you enjoy? At what times do you typically eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? How often do you go out to eat? Do you like to cook?

3) Which holidays do you celebrate? What traditions and foods does your family enjoy on these holidays?

4) Are you an early bird or a night owl? How does this affect your daily schedule? What does your "perfect day" look like?

5) Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, a realist, or something else? When you face a difficult situation, what tends to be your first response?

6) How do you deal with interpersonal conflict? Do you tend to fight or take flight? How did your family of origin handle conflict?

7) What type of work do you do? What type of work do you expect to do after marriage?

8) Do you plan to attend graduate school or seminary, get additional work training, or take other educational courses after marriage?

9) What is your current financial situation? How much debt do you have?

10) Do you want to have children? If so, how many, and when? What is your perspective on marital intimacy? Do you believe in using birth control?  

11) How would you describe your relationship with your parents, siblings, and other family members? What was your parents' marriage like?

If you're in an intercultural marriage (or considering one) and you are looking for helpful resources on the topic, check these out:
Additional Resources for Intercultural Couples

Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls, 3rd edition, by Dugan Romano
Mixed Matches by Joel Crohn
101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver
Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
Before You Say I Do by H. Norman Wright
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott
How to Save Your Marriage Alone by Ed Wheat
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship by Marla Alupoaicei

Louisiana Official Denies Marriage Certs to Interracial Couples

Keith Bardwell, a justice of the peace in Louisiana, refuses to issue marriage licenses to interracial couples. He says, "It is my experience that most interracial marriages do not last long... I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way."

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them. 

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage," Bardwell said. "I think those children suffer, and I won't help put them through it."

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said. "I try to treat everyone equally." 

American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana attorney Katie Schwartzmann said, "It is really astonishing and disappointing to see this come up in 2009." She said the Supreme Court ruled in 1967 "that the government cannot tell people who they can and cannot marry."

The ACLU sent a letter to the Louisiana Judiciary Committee, which oversees the state justices of the peace, asking them to investigate Bardwell and recommending "the most severe sanctions available, because such blatant bigotry poses a substantial threat of serious harm to the administration of justice."

To read the full Associated Press story, please see news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091016/ap_on_re_us/us_interracial_rebuff.

Comments? Thoughts?

Ah... The Joys of Waiting on the Lord

A friend of mine told me recently, "God is rarely early, but HE'S NEVER LATE!"

I thanked her for that remarkable reminder. The seasons of my life when I was waiting on the Lord to move and to work have been some of my darkest seasons... and, in hindsight, my brightest. There's no doubt about it - waiting can be painful. It's an art, a science, and a spiritual discipline. It's a time when we feel like God is at the Potter's wheel, crushing us, smoothing us out, and making something new out of us. But we don't know yet what.

When we see God working in others' lives, blessing them with a burgeoning ministry, a wonderful mate, gifted children, great success in their work, a promotion, a new home, and incredible talents and abilities - and it seems like they didn't have to wait for those things from the hand of the Lord - we may feel slighted in comparison. While we are deeply entrenched in a season of waiting, we can't see the light at the end of our tunnel. But I promise, it's there!

In my recent seasons of waiting, the Lord has used several people in my life to remind me of this passage: "Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" (Psalm 27:14). The preceding verse is one of my favorites in Scripture, reminding us of where to place our trust: "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (27:13).

Waiting forces us to depend wholly, desperately, upon the Lord. It causes a crisis of faith when we must fall before the Lord in prayer and decide with our minds and hearts to trust in His love and His goodness, even if our emotions are telling us that we've been forsaken. Psalm 138:8 reminds us: "The Lord will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands."

The Lord WILL ACCOMPLISH His good and loving plan for you. You can't outwait God - His lovingkindness is EVERLASTING!!! He will be faithful to move in your life. He will not forsake you. And you'll be blessed and transformed by the lessons you have learned through your seasons of waiting on Him.

Revamp Your Marriage!

A few days ago, while I was driving to the gym after Catalin and I had had a "discussion" about our finances, I saw this bumper sticker: "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." I was so glad for that reminder. Though we follow Christ, it's so easy for the world's attitudes and actions to seep into our minds and hearts. And what we allow to seep in is what tends to ooze back out when we are "squeezed" by the pressures of life. Jesus said, "You have heard it said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'... But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:38, 44).

Remember that your husband or your wife, the one person you love most on this earth, the one person you pledged to honor and cherish until death, is not your enemy. You are on the same team! You need each other. Don't be fooled into thinking that your spouse is your enemy. Satan is our enemy! 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." The devil wants us to be so consumed with fighting against each other that we forget to do spiritual battle against him.

Our job---through love, prayer and self-control---is to GUARD OURSELVES against false and negative thinking toward our spouses. An eye for an eye is not the answer. Responding to a hurtful comment or act with another hurtful word or action just makes the situation worse! That means you may have to step up and BE THE ONE to end the cycle and respond with grace.

Pastor Paul Basden of our new church, Preston Trail Community Church, has been leading a fantastic new marriage series called "Hug of War." Catalin and I have enjoyed it so much and have learned volumes about how to communicate better and love each other more selflessly in our marriage. Check out the podcasts and videos of this inspiring series here: prestontrail.org/podcast/index.htm. Just scroll down until you see the "Hug of War" icon and you can listen to the podcasts or watch videos of the messages. Enjoy!

Listen to Marla's Interview on Moody Radio-Chris Fabry Live!

Hi! On Friday, Aug. 21, I had a live interview with host Chris Fabry on the subject of intercultural marriage and relationships! You may listen to the interview simply by following this link, scrolling down until you see the podcast from August 21, and then clicking on "Listen." moodyradio.org/brd_programarchive.aspx?id=31078

Thanks for your support! Enjoy!

Great article on Intercultural Marriage!

Check out the following excellent article on intercultural marriage: marriage.suite101.com/article.cfm/cross_cultural_marriage. It presents seven principles that you should consider before saying "I DO" to a person from another culture. Enjoy!

Calling All Influencers!

Hi! I am looking for influencers to help spread the word about my new intercultural marriage book titled Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship. Whether you are a friend, family member, author, writer, speaker, businessperson, pastor, teacher, or anything else.... YOU CAN BE AN INFLUENCER!

What does this entail? I will send you a book at a discounted rate (autographed if you would like) and then you will read it and spread the word in a variety of ways. 1) I can send you postcards that you can distribute to your pastor or others in intercultural marriages. 2) You can blog or write about the book on your website. 3) You can write reviews of the book to post on Amazon, Barnes & Noble.com, Christianbook.com or other websites. 4) You can hire me to speak or do an interview on the topic. 5) You can send info about the book to your local newspaper. 6) You can order additional copies of the book to give to intercultural couples.

All of these will help us to get the word out about this important resource. The goal is to encourage intercultural couples and to help save their marriages by providing them with practical principles and sound biblical advice. 

If YOU WANT TO BE AN INFLUENCER, just e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com! Thanks so much!

I'm Back!

Dear Friends,

Hi! I'm officially back to posting after quite an adventure. After a hospital stint and the birth of our son, Evan, on July 6th, we are all home and doing well. Baby Evan was in the NICU for three weeks due to low birth weight, but he now weighs almost six pounds and is such a joy to us. We aren't getting much sleep, but we couldn't be happier or more blessed. We feel that the Lord preserved his life and we are so grateful to our heavenly Father for His protection and provision for us. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me, Evan and Catalin during this time. We truly appreciate it and we know that your prayers have made a huge difference in our lives.

What are we up to now? I am thrilled about the launch and media campaign for my new book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Partnership. The book is available on amazon.com, christianbook.com, and at all bookstores (Barnes & Noble, Borders, Family Christian Stores, Mardel, LifeWay, The Open Door, etc.). The book is perfect for:

-Couples considering intercultural marriage

-Couples already in intercultural marriages

-Parents or friends of intercultural couples

-Pastors, teachers, professors, counselors, missionaries, and anyone else who wants to be better equipped to interact effectively with people of all cultures and ethnicities 

To buy the book, please visit amazon.com/Your-Intercultural-Marriage-Healthy-Relationship/dp/0802418546/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249170970&sr=8-1 Thank you!

You can also buy a PERSONALIZED, AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE BOOK from me for $11.00. I can autograph it with your name or the name of a friend or family member. Simply e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com. Thanks so much for helping to support this book and spreading the word about this resource!

Now Available for Pre-Order... Your Intercultural Marriage!

I'm pleased to announce that you can now pre-order my new book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship, for a great discount on Amazon.com! Click here to order and to read more about the book: amazon.com/Your-Intercultural-Marriage-Healthy-Relationship/dp/0802418546/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240867234&sr=8-2

Moody Publishers is releasing the book, and I'm thrilled to be working with them! It's so exciting to have this, my "heart book," finally come to fruition. Here's a sneak peek at some of the highlights:

-Personal stories, insights, and advice from hundreds of intercultural couples

-Tips for anticipating and working through conflict in a healthy way

-Relevant and vital questions to ask your fiance or spouse on a variety of topics, including food, finances, intimacy, family, child rearing, and more

-A close-up and intriguing look at the intercultural marriages in the Bible 

-A list of fun intercultural movies to watch at the end of each chapter

-Practical resources and websites for further information, advice, and research

Now, you can download chapter one of the book for FREE on this website, Leap of Faith! Simply click on the box on the right on my home page. Enjoy!

Provide Hope and Help by Joining our Mentoring Network

Are you involved in an intercultural marriage? Are you a pastor, counselor, writer, teacher or someone else who is interested in mentoring intercultural couples? Catalin and I are expanding our mentoring network and are looking for men and women who are interested in joining. If you'd like more info, please e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com. Thank you!

Sticking Together through the Four Seasons of Marriage

The Four Stages of Marriage
 
"The development of a good marriage is not a natural process. It is an achievement." -David and Vera Mace
 
Just as a person journeys through the stages of childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, every marriage passes through seasons of fruitfulness and seasons of dryness. In his book The Four Seasons of Marriage, Gary Chapman writes:
 
My experience, both in my own marriage and in counseling couples for more than thirty years, suggests that marriages are perpetually in a state of transition, continually moving from one season to another. . . . Sometimes we find ourselves in winter . . . other times we experience springtime, with its openness, hope, and anticipation. On still other occasions we bask in the warmth of summer—comfortable, relaxed, enjoying life. And then comes fall with its uncertainty, negligence, and apprehension. The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature. 
 
Think about the stage your own relationship may be in as you read the descriptions of each season below.
 
Spring
 Marriages begin in the honeymoon period of spring, with the soaring emotions that accompany the experience of falling head-over-heels in love with a person from another culture. One newlywed describes her marriage this way: “It’s full of joy! It’s exciting to watch our relationship grow and develop. That ‘in love’ high just deepens and becomes richer each day. Every day is an opportunity to find a way to live out my love for my husband.”
 
            Summer
            The summer season of marriage manifests a deepening of love, a strengthening of a couple’s connection to each other. The initial honeymoon effects of spring may have waned, but summer marriages reflect a sense of security, commitment, and satisfaction. Julia, married for sixteen years, says: “Summer feels good. We’re on the same page, and that makes our marriage fun. It opens up my heart to communication.”
 
Fall
            Fall is the prelude to winter. Couples in the fall season recognize that the winds of change are blowing and that their relationship is facing trouble. A man who has been married for thirty-one years said, “I feel dejected, disheartened, and unappreciated. It’s not a good place to be. I am not content with my marriage. Something has got to change or we’re not going to make it.”
 
Winter
            The winter season of marriage is characterized by stormy weather: emotions of hurt, anger, disappointment, loneliness, grief, and rejection. Dr. Chapman writes, “What brings a couple to the winter season of marriage? In a word: rigidity—the unwillingness to consider the other person’s perspective and to work toward a meaningful compromise.”                 
What’s a couple in the winter season to do? These seven strategies, outlined in greater detail in the book The Four Seasons of Marriage, will enable a struggling intercultural couple to move through winter toward spring.
 
1. Deal with past failures.
2. Choose a winning attitude.
3. Learn to speak your spouse’s love language.
4. Develop the awesome power of empathetic listening.
5. Discover the joy of helping your spouse succeed.
6. Maximize your differences.
7. Implement the power of positive influence.
 
Every marriage will pass through these seasons, but thankfully, winter doesn’t last forever. Spring is right around the corner! My prayer is that understanding the implications of these intercultural marriage models and patterns will help you improve your communication as a couple. Practicing these principles will empower you and your spouse to create deeper bonds of love and unity as an intercultural couple. 

*This material is drawn from Marla Alupoaicei's book Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship (Moody Publishers, June 2009). To order, see amazon.com/Your-Intercultural-Marriage-Healthy-Relationship/dp/0802418546/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1239998973&sr=1-3. Enjoy!

A Weekend to Remember...

We leave today to attend FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember marriage conference at the Gaylord Texan Resort in Grapevine, Texas. We're thrilled about this opportunity. This will be our first time to attend, and what better time than Valentine's Day Weekend???

I hope all of you have a blessed and romantic Valentine's Day celebrating with your sweetheart! For more information and to register for a Weekend to Remember conference in your area, visit Family Life's website at familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3204559/k.F5BB/Attend_a_conference.htm. Enjoy!

Great Intercultural Movies to Watch!

Hi! For those of you who have taken that exciting "leap of faith" into intercultural marriage, here is a list of some great movies that will encourage and enlighten you in your relationship. I have included information on almost 40 intercultural movies in my NEW BOOK, which will be released by Moody Publishers in June! The book is called Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship. Please help spread the word!

Here are some movies for you to check out. Some of them have subtle intercultural elements that you may not have considered!

Angela's Ashes
Anna and the King
Awakenings
Bend It like Beckham
Chariots of Fire
Dances with Wolves
The Doctor
Empire of the Sun
The English Patient
Fools Rush In
Freedom Writers
Hotel Rwanda
The Joy Luck Club
The Kite Runner
Life is Beautiful
Lost in Translation
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
New in Town
The New World
Not Without My Daughter
One True Thing
Out of Africa
Remember the Titans
Save the Last Dance
Schindler's List
School Ties
Seven Years in Tibet 
Shall We Dance?
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Spanglish
Stand and Deliver
Take the Lead
Witness

If you know of others, please e-mail me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com and let me know! Thanks!